Friday, December 5, 2014
Friday, December 05, 2014

Progress, baby.

It's been a bit over a month without meds. I have mostly adjusted, and am coping ok. It's been.. quite the process. You don't realize how much they alter everything, not just in your body, but in your mind and your emotions. All of me, inside and out feels like it's been being pulled in so many directions... trying to wake up.. trying to adjust.

I've always had a very high sex drive and appetite. Taking meds have made that a challenge at times over the years, my sex drive stayed in tact, but it hasn't always been easy to hit that big O. I went seriously two years not being able to reach an orgasm when they put me on a high dosage of lyrica. That was a nightmare! Oh boy was I relieved when I discovered what was keeping me from getting there, and I vowed to never touch lyrica again, no matter how much pain I was in!

Well, the last year or so, average time to reach an orgasm time hasn't been so bad. We had gone through a phase at one point where it'd take me a good hour or more, and nights where we both got left frustrated and me left with no release.

Now that I am off the meds? 7 minutes. Tops.  And much to my surprise and pleasure the other night, we needed no help of any toys or anything either! Talk about this being a huge bonus to all I have done to get off of these dang meds! I was... tickled. In more ways than one! And my sex drive is very awake and alert.

I have also had a lot of moments of... deep thinking I suppose I'll call it. Almost like, my brain is waking back up. Have had a lot of moments where the stupidest thing will make me get emotional or teary eyed. And that very rarely happens to me! Only when I was pregnant did I ever really get like that. Never been one of those, cry to a movie or commercial type girls. Heck, I've always been one of has a hard time letting myself cry. Daddy often will give me release spankings, being sometimes Him pushing me to tears via spanking will be the only way I can get 'that' type of release.

All in all,  I feel a lot of progress has been made here, and glad I made the decision to stop all meds. It's going to be a lot of adjusting still, learning new ways to deal with pain levels and such. But, hopeless and frustrated moments aside, and times of feeling like I've been a puppet for a long time.. I feel much more alive..  more, myself.

I now want to refocus on my submission, and get all of me back on track. Getting there...Yes.. progress, baby. Progress! 


19 comments:

  1. This post makes me so happy for you!! Glad you're back:)

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    1. Aw, thank you, little girl! I am glad to be back also! :) I missed all of you!!

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  2. I couldn't be happier reading this ! Much love sister.

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    1. Thank you dear brother sub! Much love to you also, I so missed you! :) xx

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  3. I am so happy for you! Sounds like the reset was a great choice. And quick easy O's? Totally worth it!

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    1. Thank you, sweetie! Totally worth it, for sure. :D I hope you find some pain relief soon, hon. If you ever want to vent or talk, you know I am here. Hugs! xx

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  4. I'm so happy for you, and yay for the O's! Sounds like a good decision :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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  5. Hey there Amber! :) I was glad to see you come by my place recently! I've missed your kind comments!

    Looks like you are doing some good work here and making great choices in how you manage your health moving forward! Also looks like you have had some very fine results to those changes for both you and your Sir! I'm happy for you! Feel good! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Katie - aw, thank you so much hon! I'm glad to be back.. again! Hopefully I won't be vanishing anytime soon again, lol.

      I think they've been great choices indeed. :) Thank you for your support, sweetie. <3 xx

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  6. Heck yes, for easy O's! I can feel your excitement way over here :)

    This might sound crazy but, your "waking back up" sounds SO much like when we started ttwd. The way I coped with things that happened to me in my past, was to turn off my emotions. When we started ttwd it's like the fog lifted, or a light turned on, or something. I'm SO emotional now. I'm super sensitive to all the feelings around me--books, tv, Daddy, my kids, etc.. My brain is busy with thoughts, and thinking about thoughts. It's weird and hard to explain. Lol. I'm still trying to get used to it.

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    1. Misty - lol.. my excitement level has definitely been up there!

      That doesn't sound crazy at all.. I very much know what you mean! Back when we discovered there was a whole lifestyle,community, dynamics etc. for me, it was like a huge light-bulb came on! I love how you explained how it was for you, the fog being lifted. That is SO amazing. :)

      xxoo

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  7. Great to hear you can focus on your submission again. And good luck on your health.

    FD

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    1. Hi FD! Happy to see you over here. :) Thank you... so very much! I have a long post coming about it all, submission wise within the next day or so. :)

      x brat

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  8. Hi Amber,
    So happy for you while reading this post. Yes to progress!

    Meds are terrible two edged swords. I know all to well the effect meds have on the body and in my experience its seems to be so much more on the female body. Had to deal with those challenges effects on a relationship.

    Progress!
    Enzo

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    1. Forgot, I meant to comment on that picture - hot! Probably not what you intended per se, but still hot!

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    2. Hi there, Enzo. So sorry for the very delayed response! :)
      That is so true about the meds. I am a bit over 2 months without them now, and starting to feel like my old self more and more. Crazy how long it takes for your body to recover! :)

      Always love hearing from you! And I do agree, that pic is way hot. lol. xx

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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts/comments! I will always do my best to respond! xx