Progress, baby.

It's been a bit over a month without meds. I have mostly adjusted, and am coping ok. It's been.. quite the process. You don't realize how much they alter everything, not just in your body, but in your mind and your emotions. All of me, inside and out feels like it's been being pulled in so many directions... trying to wake up.. trying to adjust.

I've always had a very high sex drive and appetite. Taking meds have made that a challenge at times over the years, my sex drive stayed in tact, but it hasn't always been easy to hit that big O. I went seriously two years not being able to reach an orgasm when they put me on a high dosage of lyrica. That was a nightmare! Oh boy was I relieved when I discovered what was keeping me from getting there, and I vowed to never touch lyrica again, no matter how much pain I was in!

Well, the last year or so, average time to reach an orgasm time hasn't been so bad. We had gone through a phase at one point where it'd take me a good hour or more, and nights where we both got left frustrated and me left with no release.

Now that I am off the meds? 7 minutes. Tops.  And much to my surprise and pleasure the other night, we needed no help of any toys or anything either! Talk about this being a huge bonus to all I have done to get off of these dang meds! I was... tickled. In more ways than one! And my sex drive is very awake and alert.

I have also had a lot of moments of... deep thinking I suppose I'll call it. Almost like, my brain is waking back up. Have had a lot of moments where the stupidest thing will make me get emotional or teary eyed. And that very rarely happens to me! Only when I was pregnant did I ever really get like that. Never been one of those, cry to a movie or commercial type girls. Heck, I've always been one of has a hard time letting myself cry. Daddy often will give me release spankings, being sometimes Him pushing me to tears via spanking will be the only way I can get 'that' type of release.

All in all,  I feel a lot of progress has been made here, and glad I made the decision to stop all meds. It's going to be a lot of adjusting still, learning new ways to deal with pain levels and such. But, hopeless and frustrated moments aside, and times of feeling like I've been a puppet for a long time.. I feel much more alive..  more, myself.

I now want to refocus on my submission, and get all of me back on track. Getting there...Yes.. progress, baby. Progress!