Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Elements of Fear.

 This post has been sitting in my draft box unfinished for over a month. The thoughts still roam in my head, not making sense. I came to try to finish working it out, so I could finish this post - and didn't get any farther.

 So, I am going to do something I never do! I am going to throw this very unfinished post, full of unorganized thoughts, not knowing where to go with it..out there. Just to see if anyone wants to add thoughts on the subject. Ready... set.... read, and comment. :P xx

 I've been having a string of thoughts that has led me to wonder...

   Submissives and slaves  - what keeps you in line the most for your Master/Mistress? Is it respect... an element of fear from punishment, and/or displeasing them.. or maybe you just really hate getting into trouble? I mean,we all can't be masochist... can we? And even those of us who are masochist, hate the pain that comes from actual punishment. It is SO not the same as the pain we get from other sessions. And even worse, we hate that we have displeased our Dominant. Let's face it, that part sucks!

  I realize these are loaded questions. Of course we all respect them, and we hate displeasing them. But, bear with me as I work this out in my head...

            ...maybe it's the element of fear that I am wondering about?

 All submissives and slaves are not identical in how they think, feel... in how they do things, in how they are trained and etc. Just as, all Dominants are not identical. We all in fact, are very different in a lot of cases. Most end up finding out that, it's the dynamics, titles, rules and such that work best for us that works.. not what the typical set out D/s relationships say it should be.

 But I think in most cases, the bottom structures are similar. Along with the titles, rules, and protocols.

.......(face palm) Geez, brat. Talk about a post that so far is just stating the obvious. 

Ok, let's try another thought path here... Awhile back, and I am so sorry.. I cannot remember who was posting about this, but I remember it was a great post. The post was basically talking about fear. How she needed the fear she had. It's fear... to her,and I agree.... in a good way. Needing that real, actual fear. 

How many of us crave that real fear? How many of us need that in our dynamics? 

Maybe these thoughts would maybe tie into the post I did awhile back on Conflicting Cravings/Craving real punishment. That post led to some awesome after thoughts from a lot of you, found here in the follow up post.


  1. For me it's fear of isolation. That is the worst punishment, being sent away as a punishment. That is how I know I've stepped far beyond the line, when he sends me to the corner, or just walks away from me. Sir never uses pain as a punishment, it is reserved for rewards or just because he feels like hurting me. (Reward in itself)
    So in a way, fear does keep me in line. Mostly I try to stay inline because I love knowing that I have pleased him, that he is proud of me.

    (Sorry my response is all muddled, and I hope I didn't completely miss the point of the post, but I'm having a bad pain week and my mess make me stupid. :p )

    1. That wasn't muddled at all, hon. Made perfect sense. :) I, and I know many others very much agree on fear of isolation. I also know many that have the same in pain as a reward. :) But, your last line there - that was So well said. :) Thank you for your input on my very unorganized post! :)

      I hope your pain levels are better - I can so relate to that. Mine have been a mess since I came off of the morphine. xx Gentle hugs! xxoo

  2. Hi sister sub. For me, it is not the element of fear that is the primary force. For me it is fear of disappointing Mistress K., whether it is in just a small way of in a big way. Don't get me wrong, when I am due to be punished, there is the element of fear. But there is also the element of knowing that once I have endured my punishment, the slate is clean. It helps

    1. Brother sub - hugs! :) As always, you worded that wonderfully. I think most of us likely feel that way. Disappointing them is such a horrible feeling. x_x A clean slate - yes, that does help very much. :)

  3. I find that fear is a huge part of our relationship, but like others say, it isn't the fear of physical punishment or of a spanking, it is the fear of His disappointment. Knowing that I displeased Him is terrible. Seeing it in His eyes kills me. I would rather take a long and painful spanking than to see that look.

    1. Pet - hey you, I miss you! :) I actually have your blog open in the other window as we speak! lol.

      I couldn't agree more. Seems to be what most of us fear most - disappointing them. And I so agree, spank me 'till I'm blue over disappointing Him. x_x :)

      Thank you for adding your input, I know this post wasn't very clear. :)

  4. Hi Amber,
    Mind if I share my point of view from the other side of the relationship.

    In simple terms, I am OK with my girls fearing disappointing me (and themselves), but I would never want them to fear me in general or my actions. Does that makes sense?

    Good to see you posting again.


  5. Enzo, yes - that makes perfect sense. :)

    Afraid I have been bad at posting again the last few weeks. I am making a new years resolution to not keeping doing that! lol

    Happy New Years, Enzo! :) xx


Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts/comments! I will always do my best to respond! xx