For those of you who perhaps missed this post - you can find it here.
The first thing I noticed in all the comments the post had - is yes, it does seem to be a normal feeling, and no, I am very not alone in this.
Second, like me - you guys agree that you hate actually getting into trouble - you hate displeasing your Dominant. Aren't we good subs? :) But yea. it sucks... right?! So, what we have here now is - yep - many of us crave it, but none of us actually want or like getting into trouble.
Again, I say.. talk about conflicting! But as humans, no one ever said we make sense. Hm?
Now, before I dive deeper into this - I want to throw this out there as well. Some say, and I've heard this in the past as well, that for them - spanking is not an effective punishment for them. They enjoy it wayyy to much. While I can understand that, I - and others that commented agreed that for us, it's not the actual spanking...
..it's the tone - the authority - the control ... when knowing you displeased them, and that this spanking has nothing to do with sex, play, a scene or pleasure.. it feels and registers so differently in our heads.
Sir never does just one - He often combines punishments. Said the F word again?
Well young lady, off to the bathroom - you will promptly brush your teeth with soap, then wait for me in the correct position in our bedroom.
When He arrives to proceed in the punishment - there is lecturing going on, in that strong, strict voice. There is no spanking warm up, and often the implements you know hurt the worse are the ones used. Sometimes you are to count, which isn't always easy! And sometimes, you are left wondering just how many swats you will get, and with what all implements? After, it's to the corner, undies still down or off - your now very red bum exposed.. Or... having to sit in time out on a very unpleasant surface when you have a sore bum.
Now mind you, that is a smaller fraction in this case. The worse ones? Triple that - if this pet is told it is 'Garage time', I know I really did myself in, and a very long punishment or discipline session is about to happen. The feeling of the entire process just doesn't register sex/play/pleasure to many of us. While I can see how it does for others, though. We all are different, and that is one of the things that makes life so great and interesting.
sub hub over at submissive husband in Phoenix also brought up the point of harshness in the actual spanking - he said it better than I could have where he said:
"This also leads to another semi-related topic that I discussed on my blog. I have suggested that the true punishment spankings I have been receiving were not harsh enough to deter me from repeating the very behavior that caused the punishment in the first place. I felt pretty comfortable knowing that if I was wanting the spanking to stop, I could writhe more, whimper more, and generally add drama to how much the spanking hurt, and it would usually cause Mistress to end the spanking earlier than maybe she would otherwise. This of course would leave me in control of the spanking, which again, was intended to be a punishment spanking.
It has been said by many that a punishment spanking really only begins when the one receiving the spanking wishes it would end. With all that in mind, I guess I was trying to explain (and therefore solicit) the kind of spanking that would deter future misbehavior and realize that such a spanking should not be influenced by what kind of response I was giving my Mistress while receiving it. In other words, I was suggesting that should be part of our FLM that I knew I would not be enjoying when it was being administered, yet I know it be an integral part of what we have together. The idea of it's necessity is so very arousing while very well knowing that when being punished more than I want (but as much as I need), I won't feel that way."
He also brought up the excellent point of 'bratting' and topping from the bottom. Things most of us never, ever want to find ourselves purposely doing. Right? I admit, I can be a brat - I am very playful, I am very very impish. But, I am not that - disrespectful type brat type. I am still obedient, I follow high protocol, I am very respectful. My being called brat - falls in the lines of yes - being very playful and doing some very impish things.
The topic of maintenance spankings came into all of this. Some of you say that when you have consistent maintenance spankings, these sort of cravings are not as intense. Maybe this is something that could help those of us who do not currently get them? I know when Sir did do them, I often felt more in place, and these types of cravings were indeed not as strong. I have myself, even brought this topic up with Sir, asking how He feels about them - why He stopped, and if He felt that would be helpful or needed again in our dynamic. He has agreed that they were very helpful in a lot of things, and He will be starting them again. Will it help with those cravings once again? I'll keep you all posted!
So far though - that is the only thing we all have come up with on this - well, that and simply kneeling before your Dominant, and respectfully asking for what you feel you are needing. It is then of course, up to the Dominant to decide if you do indeed need - deserve or should have. But then still - will it have those same feelings... (release, perhaps?) that we are craving?
Then there is what some people call 'funishment' - you've probably seen the term thrown around. Funishment sessions can be a lot of fun. And maybe, if done right - maybe some of the same feelings can be accomplished? But for a lot of us, while they are a lot of fun - and can be very, very hot - it's just not the same thing. That same release doesn't happen.
It brings us back again to the fact that we don't want to actually disappoint our Dominants. And we do not really want to cause, or get into trouble. This is where my brain starts to go in circles.
Any other input you guys would like to add? Is there going to be a part 3 to this? I feel like I am still missing something in this.
Or, perhaps the maintenance thing will be something that will help. We shall see!