Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Conflicting Cravings 2 - follow up post.

Ok, a week (or two?) or so ago I posted about the conflicted cravings I have been dealing with. I asked for some input on craving physical punishment, and boy - you guys had some awesome things to say!

For those of you who perhaps missed this post - you can find it here.

The first thing I noticed in all the comments the post had - is yes, it does seem to be a normal feeling, and no, I am very not alone in this.

Second, like me - you guys agree that you hate actually getting into trouble - you hate displeasing your Dominant. Aren't we good subs? :) But yea. it sucks... right?! So, what we have here now is - yep - many of us crave it, but none of us actually want or like getting into trouble.

Again, I say.. talk about conflicting! But as humans, no one ever said we make sense. Hm?

Now, before I dive deeper into this - I want to throw this out there as well. Some say, and I've heard this in the past as well, that for them - spanking is not an effective punishment for them. They enjoy it wayyy to much. While I can understand that, I - and others that commented agreed that for us, it's not the actual spanking...
     ..it's the tone - the authority - the control ... when knowing you displeased them, and that this spanking has nothing to do with sex, play, a scene or pleasure.. it feels and registers so differently in our heads. 

Sir never does just one - He often combines punishments. Said the F word again?

Well young lady, off to the bathroom - you will promptly brush your teeth with soap, then wait for me in the correct position in our bedroom.

When He arrives to proceed in the punishment - there is lecturing going on, in that strong, strict voice. There is no spanking warm up, and often the implements you know hurt the worse are the ones used. Sometimes you are to count, which isn't always easy! And sometimes, you are left wondering just how many swats you will get, and with what all implements? After, it's to the corner, undies still down or off - your now very red bum exposed.. Or... having to sit in time out on a very unpleasant surface when you have a sore bum.

Now mind you, that is a smaller fraction in this case. The worse ones? Triple that - if this pet is told it is 'Garage time', I know I really did myself in, and a very long punishment or discipline session is about to happen. The feeling of the entire process just doesn't register sex/play/pleasure to many of us. While I can see how it does for others, though. We all are different, and that is one of the things that makes life so great and interesting.

sub hub over at  submissive husband in Phoenix also brought up the point of harshness in the actual spanking - he said it better than I could have where he said:

"This also leads to another semi-related topic that I discussed on my blog. I have suggested that the true punishment spankings I have been receiving were not harsh enough to deter me from repeating the very behavior that caused the punishment in the first place. I felt pretty comfortable knowing that if I was wanting the spanking to stop, I could writhe more, whimper more, and generally add drama to how much the spanking hurt, and it would usually cause Mistress to end the spanking earlier than maybe she would otherwise. This of course would leave me in control of the spanking, which again, was intended to be a punishment spanking.
It has been said by many that a punishment spanking really only begins when the one receiving the spanking wishes it would end. With all that in mind, I guess I was trying to explain (and therefore solicit) the kind of spanking that would deter future misbehavior and realize that such a spanking should not be influenced by what kind of response I was giving my Mistress while receiving it. In other words, I was suggesting that should be part of our FLM that I knew I would not be enjoying when it was being administered, yet I know it be an integral part of what we have together. The idea of it's necessity is so very arousing while very well knowing that when being punished more than I want (but as much as I need), I won't feel that way."

He also brought up the excellent point of 'bratting' and topping from the bottom. Things most of us never, ever want to find ourselves purposely doing. Right? I admit, I can be a brat - I am very playful, I am very very impish. But, I am not that - disrespectful type brat type. I am still obedient, I follow high protocol, I am very respectful. My being called brat - falls in the lines of yes - being very playful and doing some very impish things.

Well - now what do us subs that do crave this, but hate getting into trouble do? We don't want to be that 'bad' type of brat.. we definitely do not want to find ourselves topping from the bottom.

The topic of maintenance spankings came into all of this. Some of you say that when you have consistent maintenance spankings, these sort of cravings are not as intense. Maybe this is something that could help those of us who do not currently get them? I know when Sir did do them, I often felt more in place, and these types of cravings were indeed not as strong. I have myself, even brought this topic up with Sir, asking how He feels about them - why He stopped, and if He felt that would be helpful or needed again in our dynamic. He has agreed that they were very helpful in a lot of things, and He will be starting them again. Will it help with those cravings once again? I'll keep you all posted!

So far though - that is the only thing we all have come up with on this - well, that and simply kneeling before your Dominant, and respectfully asking for what you feel you are needing. It is then of course, up to the Dominant to decide if you do indeed need - deserve or should have. But then still - will it have those same feelings... (release, perhaps?) that we are craving?

Then there is what some people call 'funishment' - you've probably seen the term thrown around. Funishment sessions can be a lot of fun. And maybe, if done right - maybe some of the same feelings can be accomplished? But for a lot of us, while they are a lot of fun - and can be very, very hot - it's just not the same thing. That same release doesn't happen.

It brings us back again to the fact that we don't want to actually disappoint our Dominants. And we do not really want to cause, or get into trouble. This is where my brain starts to go in circles.

Any other input you guys would like to add? Is there going to be a part 3 to this? I feel like I am still missing something in this.

Or, perhaps the maintenance thing will be something that will help. We shall see!

xx brat


  1. For me, I think the entire post hits the nail on the head!!

    1. little girl, yay! I love hearing that - it usually means I am on the right track! lol. Thank you for commenting sweetie! <3 xx

  2. First, let me say that I am incredibly honored. not only to be mentioned by name but also to have my words featured in this way. Thank you so much for that brat.

    Sometimes I feel we humans tend to make things way more complicated than they need to be. The fact that some words have different and sometimes more/less sever meanings, cause there to be parallel conversations going on simultaneously. Apple and oranges if you will. We all tend to insert our little version of the meaning of the word (in this case punishment spanking) into the conversation(s) and sometimes, communication is entirely clear ... event though everyone involved is well-intended and reasonable.

    For me personally, the word "punishment" denotes the act of enforcing something unpleasant on an offender of some kind. In the context of my marriage to my beautiful Dominant Wife, that punishment is something I believe should actually deter future abhorrent behavior.

    I also believe, simply stated, that if the punishment is to be a spanking, and that spanking turns out to be merely something that submissive enjoys, then it is not really a punishment spanking. In such a case, the punishment spanking that was intended was actually a "funishment spanking" that was received. Again, keeping in mind the goal of any punishment is to deter future bad behavior, getting a funishment spanking when a punishment spanking was intended will only encourage future bad behavior, right?

    Really, if future bad behavior is to be deterred, a punishment spanking should be just that, and not something that only enhances the fantasy of the submissive. On one hand i hate to say it because I know that it will ultimately mean that my spankings will now become incredibly more painful. On the other hand I look forward to enduring that corrective punishment in order for me to achieve my ultimate goal ... servitude to and pride from my Mistress.

    Thank you again Amber for including my in your incredibly good post.

    1. " On the other hand I look forward to enduring that corrective punishment in order for me to achieve my ultimate goal ... servitude to and pride from my Mistress."

      Yes.. yes yes. That ultimate goal.. how I strive and work towards that.

      As always, everything you said here was perfectly worded, sub hub.

      I once,in a impish prank, toilet papered Sir's Harley. I, never ever received such a bruised bottom as I did that night. That impish prank never went that far again! Which, is exactly what you are saying I think - the severity of the spanking I got for that, was harsh to the point where I wouldn't dare do it again.

      I once put dry lucky charms in Sir's uniform pockets while over His lap - the spanking, was more playful - fun.. funishment type I suppose that would be. He likes that I am impish and playful, but like the toilet papering - I learned what is over the line. While He knows I love the Harley, and we have wonderful times on it - my playfulness, was not His in that way. lol. Despite His chuckles, the punishment was still severe.

      You are so very welcome - your words always hold much insight, and I truly am so glad to have met you. I love following your journey with your lovely Mistress, and I always love the interactions we get going on your blog, or mine. You quickly have become one of my favorite bloggers and friends here. :)

  3. Love. Love. Love.

    I wonder if it's the punishment or the release from the punishment. Let's face it, punishment is pain. So, maybe it's just pain you are craving? The type of pain inflicted on you while your Dom is in a more serious mood?

    Today is a pain day. He has told me to expect being tied, gagged, whipped, and every sense of pain and pleasure brought to my body. Today, I'm too give complete control to Him. I don't get a say if done or not. He decides. It isn't punishment, put it is mimicking it. I fucking cannot wait!!

    1. Thank you, Hs!

      Yes, exactly - that is what both post lead me to wonder as well, if it's that release and pain that I am needing/craving. Could be something to that - I am one of those ppl who cannot cry easily, or find a lot of ways to get release.. I can only get that real deep release from a good hard session like you just described. I think you just hit something on the head for me, Hs.. thank you!

      That last paragraph had me squirming all the way over here.. you know I'll be waiting for details via email!! lol! Mm, lucky you! :)

    2. That is my issue. I may cry, but it's barely of substance, so no release. I need the pain to give me mental and physical release.

    3. Nods - I am the same way. I really think you hit a huge light bulb for me on this. I knew I was close with the release thing, but needed to go a step further with it. Thank you doll!


Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts/comments! I will always do my best to respond! xx