Almost all submissive types aim to please. Nothing pleases us more and most of us hate getting into actual trouble. We get that bad feeling in the pit of our tummies - much like when we were kids. We take our punishments, do our best to learn from them and do better. And gods help us, we try dang hard from not doing it again. For a sub, it's one of the worse things to know that you have disobeyed or disappointed your Dominant(s).
With that being said and known, is it an extremely odd thing for me to admit that I sometimes find myself craving punishment? With being the very naturally submissive person that I am - and having those thoughts.. of please, yes - punish me... it can leave the mind... conflicted.You come across a story - or a nice little video... The sub being sent to the corner, then laid across the lap. Or bent over a nice hard surface, bottom up and exposed.. just waiting for the implement to bite against the tender flesh. The stern words... the strong hand around the throat... or grabbing a fistful of hair... and... Oh! You find yourself squirming, your mind racing... and you see those thoughts forming in the back of your mind, where you are crawling to your Dom/me, perhaps a belt in between your teeth - your eyes big and pleading.
You want to please, you want to serve.. you want to do everything you possibly can to make your
Talk about conflicting!
So now I ask you all. Am I alone in these crazy feelings? Do you ever crave punishment?
Is there maintenance spankings in your relationship/dynamic?
I ask the last, because I have noticed that I feel a lot more in place, and don't have these type of cravings as much when there are maintenance spankings on a normal basis.
How about the Dominants out there? Do You as a Dominant ever crave giving punishment? Same type of feelings, just on the other side of the coin?
Any other thoughts on this topic? I will do a follow up post on this after I have received some input from you wonderful readers.
I need the discipline. I crave it. I don't particularly sought after it and I hate displeasing Him, but yes, I need it. That was one of the issues Saturday. It was a discipline session, but not intense (harsh) enough for me. I'm positive my flip out had very much to do with that fact alone. And grief.
ReplyDelete*nod* That makes sense with everything we have talked about, Hs. Also gives me more food for thought on this topic... Stay tuned for part 2. :) Thank you for commenting hon. xx :)
DeleteOkay....I have a mouth full to say on this, but typing it out on my phone will annoy me. SO I will come back Wednesday and comment on both your writings! <3 ~your sugar pop
ReplyDeleteI look forward to hearing your mouth full... you kinky imp. ;) xxx
DeleteI am one kinky Imp and I am proud of it! <3
DeleteGood! lol xxoo
DeleteYou have just jumpstarted my brain into an actual topic for blogging. Thank you, my lovely, for posting this. Lol.
ReplyDeleteAnd rest assured, you are soooo not alone in this feeling. I am guilty for feeling the same way. I've talked with Monster about this before, because it felt like I was an anomoly in the kink kingdom. He brought up that it might not be the actual punishment, but me craving the feeling of reaffirming his dominance over me.
Food for thought, maybe?
I love that we often jump start each others brains - see, yet another post with brain sex, lol lol!
DeleteThank you, that helps a lot. And definitely gives me some more thoughts to add into this! Could be something to that! xx
Mmmm, brain sex. lmao! xD Working on my two-cents on this between doing other things.
DeleteI think he made a very good point, he knows me better than I know myself most of the time.
and, omg, I just saw the tags on this. I have corrupted your brain. Lol
DeleteLol! I will brain sex you any day baby! :D And I look forward to hearing your two-cents. :)
DeleteAnd isn't that a great feeling? When they know us better than we know ourselves? <3
Lastly - yes, you have! Now I cannot stop making the damn things! lol lol! <3 Corrupted!!! x_x
Here at the UCTMW World HQ I confess that sometimes I say or do things designed to provoke a little punishment.
ReplyDeletePlease don't tell Mistress!
Mick
Mick, your secret is safe with me! I have done some very impish things in the past - maybe I should make a post about those as well? lol. Example - putting dry lucky charms in Sir's uniform pocket, while He had me over His knees.
DeleteThank you for confessing, it helps a ton! :) And, thank you for commenting - I always enjoy hearing from you. :)
xx
brat
If say I craved disciple more at times especially when D is gone. When he's home we do a lot if Maintence so I don't think I crave it as much. it's odd to say I myself crave him discipline sometimes I think you get what I mean when I say that too. :) ~ s
ReplyDeleteI do, very much so.. thank you lil! As I have wondered, I think there is a connection to maintenance spankings in this. It could be that it is worse for me right now, because Sir has been away, and not due home 'till Saturday, as well. :) Thank you for commenting hon! xxoo
DeleteDoes your Sir go away lot? Mine dines gotta love the military :) bring apart is hard.
DeleteYes, Sir is Military also! It is so hard sometimes. I didn't realize yours was Military as well. :)
DeleteGo Navy...:) it's hard to be apart keeping our kind if lifestyle up in the military poses a lot of challenges but we make it work :)
Delete:) Army here. :) We've been together for 19 years, and it's been a good life, but definitely a harder life. Sir is looking at medical retirement here soon. :) I hear you on the challenges. :) Kudos to you both, and I'm so happy to have you here at my blog. Seems we have a lot in common. :) xx
DeleteD has been in 22 years it's been good for us. Challenging yes but nothing is ever change. Medical retirement are you ready for the civilian world?:)
DeleteThat is amazing! :) Sir is not active got off of Active Duty a few years ago, after hurting His knees from being Airborne for so long. But, he is now National Guard, and also works full time for the DOD. So to Him, this really will be His first time being a civilian since He was a teenager. Kind of freaks His brain out a little, but we're getting well planned for it. :) 22 years - is yours up for retirement soon also? Kudos to Him for making it that long, a lot of people don't make it past 20. :)
DeleteHe just extended for 2 more :)
ReplyDeleteVery awesome. Good for Him. :)
DeleteIn our dynamic, spankings, whippings, etc are a part of sex for us. That type of punishment doesn't work for me because I enjoy it too much. So if I'm craving a certain type of impact, or the like, I ask for it. Sir decided if I've been good enough to earn it.
ReplyDeletePunishment for me is writing lines, denial of play at all, or seclusion. Also, of I'm particularly sassy I get the clothes pin on the tongue. /shutter.
All of that said, yes I think it's normal. Sometimes I need to know where my lines are, and how far I can push until I go over them and end up punished.
I can very much understand that as well. I enjoy some spanking sessions, but some - are just as effective punishment wise. I think it's because Sir delivers them so differently during sex, then in punishment. He also makes me do lines, corner time - have had a few times of soap in my mouth for swearing, etc. He often makes the punishment fit the crime. x_x
DeletePushing boundaries is an excellent point to bring up also. Thank you so much for your thoughts on this! :) xx
Also, spanking during sex - don't think I could do without! lol
DeleteI agree spanking of any kind during sex ! Amen!:)
Deletelol! Yes yes yes! :)
DeleteVery interesting topic Amber. Let's see, where do I start ................. ?
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that this conversation is centered around bratting in order to get attention (in the form of punishment) from one's Dominant. I totally understand it, I totally get that it is natural and real and I also believe it is not at all a good habit for a sub to get into, and an even worse habit for a Dominant to allow once recognized. It's very much like topping from the bottom, which I believe is an abhorrent behavior and should never, ever be tolerated.
All that being said, yes, I am guilty of those things too. Coincidently, Mistress K. were in the car last night on the way to a function and I thanked her again for the "more-than-usual-attention she gave to me as my Mistress while we were on vacation, which led to the topic of bratting. She had asked if would ever do something wrong or bad on purpose in order to solicit a spanking. My response was no but honestly, after thinking about it, I would look back at the rare occasion when I knew that I should clean those dishes, or remove my panties from floor and put them in the hamper but didn't, knowing that worst case, i'd be naked before my Mistress.
This also leads to another semi-related topic that I discussed on my blog. I have suggested that the true punishment spankings I have been receiving were not harsh enough to deter me from repeating the very behavior that caused the punishment in the first place. I felt pretty comfortable knowing that if I was wanting the spanking to stop, I could writhe more, whimper more, and generally add drama to how much the spanking hurt, and it would usually cause Mistress to end the spanking earlier than maybe she would otherwise. This of course would leave me in control of the spanking, which again, was intended to be a punishment spanking.
It has been said by many that a punishment spanking really only begins when the one receiving the spanking wishes it would end. With all that in mind, I guess I was trying to explain (and therefore solicit) the kind of spanking that would deter future misbehavior and realize that such a spanking should not be influenced by what kind of response I was giving my Mistress while receiving it. In other words, I was suggesting that should be part of our FLM that I knew I would not be enjoying when it was being administered, yet I know it be an integral part of what we have together. The idea of it's necessity is so very arousing while very well knowing that when being punished more than I want (but as much as I need), I won't feel that way.
This very same argument is made by so many people when talking about a submissive male eating his own cum. There are some that believe that the male sub/slave should always consume any ejaculate he produces, and I completely understand the logic concept behind this notion. Because it is one of those things that are common "anchor-points" in a FLM, the general idea is very exciting. However, I know that If I am ever faced with having to do it, and even though I can find myself getting an erection with prospect of HAVING to do it, at the moment I would be required to open my mouth to receive it, I would not want to. Just like suggesting that a true punishment spanking that hurts like fuck is what any brat should deserve if they were to purposely misbehave in order to satisfy their "craving" for punishment.
Maintenance Spankings? I so wish Mistress was one that believed in them. I know that if I were subject to a maintenance spanking every (whatever) night or morning, and if said maintenance spanking were significant enough to be memorable for the sub, my behavior would be consistently better. Just sayin ..............
Forgive the long response Amber. Keep posting my dear. They're wonderful.
Interestingly enough, a came across this blog entry that I had seen before which I think is very apropos:
Deletehttp://spankingmarriage.blogspot.com/2013/10/getting-my-attention.html?zx=b5b9126bf4b938e5
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a very well thought out comment with your thoughts and experience with this topic. I want to be able to give you the same respect , and not rush through my response here. So, going to go read the blog post link you shared, and will come back to properly respond to your first comment. You made such excellent points here.. be back in a bit to give a full response. :) xx
DeleteSo love hearing your input.
Ok,I have been pondering this further all day after reading your wise comment. And, it's given tons more for me to think off of.. so much so, that if it is ok with you, I'd like to include a lot of what you said in my follow up post. I will add the rest of my thoughts in there with it. It's going to be a long post! lol. Please let me know if using your words *I will quote and link you, of course* is ok with you? :)
DeleteYour input means so much to me. I already so value your thoughts and blossoming friendship! xx
Amber, of course it is ok to use my words and quote me. I would be honored. So looking forward to seeing it.
DeleteThank you so much. :) Going to try and start the follow up post today if I can. :)
DeleteI really love everything that sub hub in phx said. It really does ring to be true, and I think the answer was well thought out. :)
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I have had these thoughts before. Sometimes I want to act bad just to get a spanking from my Mistress. I find myself thinking "What can I do to get Her to take back control?" I honestly think that is what it is. You need your Sir to take what is His, and remind you of your place.
I crave it sometimes. I just want her to pull me by the hair, and take me. Own me. Control me. Show me who owns me. It happens when I have not had a play session in awhile. OR when I notice Mistress is not enforcing her rules.
I can kind of see it as topping from the bottom. It is a way to get what YOU want, not what they want. If you are feeling that punish me vibe, I would talk to your Sir and tell him that you really would like if he would remind you of who is in control?
I have maintenance spankings in my relationship. Not only do I receive them, I give them (Since we switch) If one of us notices we are 'bratting' just to be punished we do one. It drives into the mind for us to behave, to remember who is in control.
When I feel out of sorts, and start getting that 'punish me' feeling...I tell Mistress. I bring her the spoon in my mouth. Crawl to her, and almost BEG her to take over me. It helps.
Imp, you also have stoked some new thoughts on me on this topic. Think you have hit some things on the head as well here. As I said above, I am going to add the rest of my thoughts on this topic in a follow up post. Hopefully within the next few days. Thank you so much for you input. xxoo
DeleteHi Imp. First, let me say thank you for recently becoming a follower on my blog. I appreciate all the attention I can get. *smile
DeleteOne thing that I believe is universally clear ..... all of us subs want/need attention. It is inherent in the make up of our personalities, therefore it is a common thread. Like everyone, I am afflicted by it too and when it rears it's ugly head, Mistress K. will usually cut right through the shit and simply remind me that it isn't about me, it's about her. If I am truly able to get my pleasure from providing her pleasure, I will understand that as a part of submission to her that must always intellectually honest. Bratting, topping-from-the-bottom and other activities that are designed to steer circumstances n a direction decided or preferred by the submissive are counter productive and will eventually eat at the integrity of the relationship. In other words .... it will end.
To Imp's point ..... letting Mistress know that you want something is always the best way. it doesn't mean the sub will get what he or she wants but at the very least, it is intellectually honest.
I don't not receive maintenance spankings and if I were to be honest, I so much wish I did. I have mentioned to Mistress K. before and for her, it just didn't seem to register. Who knows, maybe she'll change her mind and fid some benefit from regularly scheduled bare-bottom spankings.
Again, all so well said sub hub. I for one am thinking I may ask Sir what His thoughts are on returning to having maintenance spankings. We used to have them, and I always felt more in place. Think I do truly miss them.
DeleteHi Amber! Finally getting a chance to catch up on your blog!
ReplyDeleteI do crave physical discipline but not when used as punishment. Maintenance is sure to cure my cravings for a little while...lol!
Hey there little girl! Welcome over to my blog, so happy to have you here hon. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts/feelings on this! See, that brings me back to maintenance again - I didn't seem to crave that physical discipline as much either when we had those going on a normal basis. More good food for thought for the follow up post, thank you! :) xxoo