Sunday, July 13, 2014


A dare - Answer what you see when you look in the mirror. Asked by my favorite nightmare over at Masochistically Defiant.

Self esteem is something I have fought all of my life. I have never been able to see the things that other people say that they see in me. I think it rings true for many people that when they look into a mirror, the first thing they see are perhaps the bags under their eyes... the worry lines, laugh and frown wrinkles, a stray stubborn hair that we will immediately grab the tweezers and attack. The list can go on and on for some.

But what do we all really see beyond all of that?
Perception is a tricky, tricky thing. I for one, have worked very hard, for many... many years to become confident and see the good things in myself. It's been a very trying road at times. But with the help of Sir and my mentor Seven, while I still may have my off days with it, I think I am finally at a point in my life where I do not see all the horrible monsters I used to see every time I looked into the mirror.

I got to this point by doing a lot of journal writing (in an actual book), and doing exercises that involved doing exactly what the dare refers to. Looking into the mirror every day, and focusing on the good in what was staring back at me. Add that with the fact that as I continued to get older, I finally became more and more comfortable in my own skin. I stopped being afraid to express myself in the way I felt was true to me. No matter how out there some think it may be that my hair is always a different and unnatural color, or that I have many piercings and tattoos. I think it'll always be a work in progress, but I know I have come a long way with this topic.

So, when I look into the mirror ... what do I see? A fun,bratty freak who is finally comfortable in her own skin.

Great realization that is - Yes, go me! 


  1. It's pretty funny-creepy-amazing that our answers to that question are similar. It's been forever ago since I asked that question in the group, but I remember how I answered it. Also that weird coincidental thing, The Monster made me do journaling and mirror exercises as well. lol

    1. That doesn't surprise me at all. lol! Between you and I being so very alike, and our Dom's being so very alike.. it just wows me sometimes. But it is incredibly awesome!

      For the record, I hated the mirror exercises - I always felt silly. lol! :) xx

    2. Ohgosh! I hated it sooo much. I'd make such goofy faces before he'd walk in and slap my thigh and tell me to do it right. Lol

    3. Lol!!! That made me giggle. x_x


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