Fate.. stubborness... or both for this chick?

Occasionally, as the name of my blog states, you will see posts that are dealing with my going to school to get a Mortuary Science degree. I am, granted off to a bit of a late start in doing this, but as my mother has always said - life begins at 40! I have a few years before I hit 40, so.. maybe not so bad!

I am lucky to have an awesome Sister in law, who is already in the field. When I first tried to go for my first apprentice job, she sent a lot of suits my way that she no longer needed.. offered support and even her name to be used a reference if needed. Today she sent me a very interesting article, called, So, You Wanna Be a Mortician?  After diving into the article, I have found myself sitting here with my coffee, reading everything I can in this blog. *Confessions Of a Funeral Home Director.*

I think Caleb offers a very insightful and honest opinion.. and it's... refreshing to read. His blog is intriguing. A lot of the comments say things in the first blog post like - R.I.P to my dream job. But, there were also a lot of comments stating that, like me - and I think my sister in law, we just cannot imagine doing anything else. For me, I've wanted to do this since I was a young kid. I was that kid who was constantly wanting to go into the funeral homes and mortuary's, spent all my alone time in the local graveyards. There was always a curiosity, always a longing. Always this feeling deep in my gut that said - yes! This is where you belong.

I am completely fascinated with the embalming side of the work. But I also am so eager to learn about every other aspect of the field as well. I am a naturally submissive person, but one who knows how to be in control. I think my ways of being a caretaker will help me in this career as well. Serving and helping people who are going through such a difficult time, is something I strongly desire to do, and think I will do very well at. I have gone through so many different fields in my head, especially with some of the odds being stacked against me with having had five very serious spinal surgeries. But none of them.. not a single one feels right to me. None of them give that feeling of belonging and rightness that I got when I walked into the first funeral home that I wanted to work at. Sitting in front of the big desk, I found, I for once - wasn't nervous. I was right at home. I was confident. Going on the tour of what I would be doing, I didn't shake - I walked with my head held high, and that feeling of YES, you got this! And, I didn't throw up on anything, or trip over any coffins. Always a plus! And towards the end, when my name got wrote on the big white board.. Oh, the feeling was indescribable! I knew, that I was finally on the right path. No matter where I have to start, how hard I have to work, the bad smells and any other hard part of the job, I want them, along with the good sides of the job!

In all the people I have spoke with, and have read about in this field.. along with myself, I sit here and wonder: Are those who are in it, and want to be in it - whether born into or pushed to get into it, is it something we are all just fated to do?

For me, I won't get into the ol' Fate debate, but, whatever it's called - it's just where I belong, and what I am meant to do, and meant to be. I know I have *a lot* of hard work ahead of me, and it's going to be extremely challenging in many ways.. but I also know I can do this.