Now - to start the catch up .. here is one of the Ask brat questions....
I find myself being very drawn into your blog. I am realizing that like you say, I am very naturally submissive. I have always been drawn to these sort of things and want to start embracing them in my life, and not just in the bedroom. How do I tell the man I am with that I'd like to pursue those needs and desires? Thank you for your time. Your blog is outstanding. x Longing to be submissive.
Dear Longing to be submissive,
First, thank you so much for writing and feeling like you could ask me for input on this! And second, you are so not alone. Trust me! We all have to start embracing what we are somewhere along the line. The good news is, that you just admitted this to yourself. That is really the first step!
As for your guy - you know him, sit and think about how he will take this news from you. Is he open minded, and one to jump into trying new things? Or, is he the type that likes to be eased by others, or to ease into things himself? For Sir and I, we always lived this way to an extent. A lot of the dynamics were always there, even before we learned more about the lifestyle and etc. When I had *my* moment of realization - that, big light bulb moment, I knew Sir would be the type to take a leap. I prepared myself for Him coming home for lunch one day, once He got home - I went to kneel at His feet, lowered my eyes, and asked him to become my Dominant. Everything fell into place after that, and what was already an amazing relationship - became all that much better.
It turned out, he wasn't surprised at all, and it was an easy transition for us.
Now, keep in mind that when it came to dynamics - those didn't just fall right into place. There are so many different ways of living this lifestyle. And often, no two ways are really the same for everyone. We have really found out from us, and those we know in the lifestyle - that it is what works for the people involved.
My suggestion - find the way you feel is best to approach him with this, and if he is open to it - research research and research together. Find what works for you guys. Soon after we started researching, we started with some base rules, that often got changed as we went.
My best advice is to learn all you can - and remember that it takes complete and total communication and honesty with one another. It takes patience, and time, but it's very very worth it.
I think that is the most I can really tell you, with not knowing much about you or your guy. If you'd like to include more details, or would like some follow up advice as you go - please feel free to write again.
I wish you all the luck in the world with this - and congrats, for taking the first step in embracing this side of yourself. There is a whole world out there with so many wonderful things in it for Dominants, submissives and those who switch. It's just all in finding what works best for you - and remember to have fun along the way!