|This is a view of my lower back, my upper looks about the same.|
I went home in tears, feeling hopeless and frustrated. The medicine helps, for the most part - but at what cost? I sat and talked with Sir about this, and I told Him that I wanted to try to come back off of the meds while I still can. That I do know that it's a very likely fact that at some point in my life, I will not have a choice, and I will have to take them. That, if I can go as long as I can, and try to find alternate pain relief, and have that maybe save my brain some - that I should try.
Unfortunately, this new Dr., while he was very pleased when I went back to see him, and told me he wished more patients thought like I do - he also didn't have a real good plan for me to come off of the meds. He just refilled it for one month, told me to take 1 less every day, then just stop after a few days. Well, I've been through this before and I already knew how hard it is on the body to come off of meds like this. The withdrawals are a killer. I did it my own way, I did lower it to one for a few weeks, and then I stopped.. not having much more of a cut down option to work with, it was the best I could do.
I am on day 11 of no meds here. I did it! My pain levels are up, but I am trying to adjust. I am happy that despite my pain, my brain is clear. It's been a very rough ride.
I am not sure where I will go from here on pain management. But I am determined to find a way, to stay off of the heavy meds.
To all my fellow bloggers and friends here - I have recieved a lot of emails, some comments and messages from you guys - you guys never fail to amaze me on how great you guys are. I am ok, and I am trying to get back into the swing of things here. I also haven't forgotten about the community blog, I love the input and excitement you guys shared over the idea. I just still need to think of a name for it! :)
If I have missed anything important, fun, or .. realllly kinky ;) please feel free to point me in that direction to catch up on it. I will be trying to catch up with everyone here.
Ok - someone catch me up!