Monday, February 23, 2015

Sir VS. Daddy.

When I first came fully out in this post, I had this thing running through my head that said - people still won't get it if you address Him as Daddy. All the taboo stereotypes often fall into place with the title. Between that, and trying to embrace more of my slave role, I quickly fell into the habit of addressing Him as Sir on the blog. Now here is the funny part, He actually really dislikes being called Sir. Only in formal or high protocol settings am I ordered to address Him as such. I believe this is because He is a soldier, and relates it to work, perhaps? Either way, every time I refer to Him here as Sir, my gut kind of - rolls over. 

It makes me realize that yes, I have came out. And yes, I have made huge progress in no longer hiding who we are, or how we live. Especially since my article was published. But, I am still holding back by addressing Him as Sir. I have spent quite a bit of time pondering this lately, and am feeling that this is one of the last hurdles I need to jump over in being fully out. 

I will now address Him as Daddy, as I do in every day life. I've also realized that I thought we were 'out'. I had been determined not to hide anything anymore, from anyone. However, when my article was published, I realized there were still a lot of people in our lives that I didn't quite fully do so with. I had SO hesitated in sharing my article on Facebook. I finally did, though - and am so glad I did. It got shared, liked, and passed around with so many encouraging and kind words. 

In turn, I heard from a lot of people who took the time to let me know that they understood, or a lot of them actually live the same way or have the desire to do so. Some of them, I would have never guessed. It brought us closer together on a very awesome new level. I received comments like - "I shared your article with my husband, he was all over me after. Maybe there is some hope after all!" or, "It is so wonderful to see someone spreading the word and keeping it real." 

So encouraging it has been, and I am now even more determined to not hold back, to stay real... to stay uncensored and to not hide who I am. I know that many do not have the choice to do so, and for very understandable reasons. Work, family etc. But for me, I have no reason to hide anymore.. not even that last bit that I have held back over the months since I have started this blog.


  1. I'm tired of hiding who I am too. Odds are we won't ever tell our friends and family, but I'd like to be more open on the blog about who I am! I posted something a couple days ago, freaked out, and took the post down. Lol. I don't think it was more revealing than anything else I've posted, so I think it was just the idea of being more open that got to me. Now I'm having trouble writing all together! Ugh.

    Anyway, good for you!! You're amazing!

    1. Aw Misty - thank you!

      I have so done that in the past, post something, then take it down.. or get a whole post wrote, only to delete it! I find it helps to ease into things sometimes, slowly start being more open about some of the things that are easier - work up to the harder maybe? I know you can do it! :) When we start second guessing ourselves, it really seems to trigger that writers block! I so understand what you are going through.

      As always, my email is open to you, should you need/want it. xx

  2. Hi Amber -

    Good for you and being true to your self! It isn't always easy.

    Just to get stuck on the smaller points of your post and not the bigger picture for a minute; two random thoughts.

    I get the whole sir as a soldier/work correlation and thus his not like being addressed as such. Part of that in my opinion comes from the sometimes "forced and instant authority" that comes with military life vs real life relationships where it is given freely. (I can just wrote that and imagine the big debate someone can have about the military life...anyways).

    The other is being addressed as Daddy. I have often found it interesting that a lot of latin women will call their significant others "Papi" as a pet name in everyday conversation and no one seems to bat an eye. Perhaps it is a cultural thing.

    Best always,


Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts/comments! I will always do my best to respond! xx