Saturday, September 20, 2014

Ask brat - Longing to be submissive and Squirmy submissive.

 Update - Longing to be submissive. 

I am over due in posting this, but I have an update from 'longing to be submissive'. If you missed the post, you can read it here. We have had off and on touch since she first wrote to me, and with a little more guidance I am happy to report that her and her partner are now beginning to embrace a D/s relationship. He was very open to the idea, and had also - like her, been curious about it. I've sent them a lot of helpful links to research different dynamics and etc. and they are off to a wonderful start. She is even pondering entering the blog world beyond reading - but is working herself up to it. When and if she does, I have her permission to put her link out to you all.  She sends her thanks to everyone who joined in and commented on the post.

Longing to be submissive - I think I speak for all of us when I say, welcome to the lifestyle, and we wish you and your Sir the best in whatever dynamics you both chose to embrace! We are so very happy for you! I hope you will continue to keep us updated! :) xx

I am so behind on other questions that have been sent in, I am so sorry to all who have been waiting them! My goal to have them all caught up by the end of next week.

*note -You may have noticed that I am naming a lot of the writers - but they know who they are for I have previously let them know what name/tag to look under for all related post to them.

     Do you have any advice on being able to get through punishment with trying to run away? I get very squirmy and my reflexes kick in. This leads me to breaking more rules from my Master. Any tips would be very much appreciated. Thank you! Love your blog! x

Squirmy submissive

Dear squirmy submissive,
  Oh hon.. I can assure you that every submissive reading this right now is nodding along, or has so been there at least once (If not more!) during punishment.

Usually, most Dominants are known to skip the 'warm up' process that is usually given during non punishment sessions. This makes, especially the first few strikes, a lot more harsh. But, as Sir always  says - it's supposed to be harsh and hurt. That doesn't make it any easier for us to hold still though, huh?

My best advice? Is remember to take deep breaths, and try not to tense up. I know the not tensing up is so not easy! For some reason, our minds seem to think if we tense up and flex our bum muscles, it's going to hurt less. However, this is so not true. It actually makes it hurt worse! I still struggle at doing this sometimes myself!

So relaxing and breathing is the key thing here! It takes practice, but you will get there! For some subs, it helps to count - if they are not already being made to do so. But, for some - this makes it harder or worse for them! So that would have to be personal choice on what would work for you. I myself, count when I am ordered to do so - but if not, I try not to focus on how many I am getting.

I to this day, am still not perfect at this. But I also know Sir likes a bit of squirming and fight. Some do! But beware, some so will not tolerate it. It's all in what your Dominant likes with that!

You could perhaps, ask your Dominant in maybe tying you up during punishment if it would please them.

Good luck, and remember to keep breathing and trying not to 'flex' those butt muscles! Thank you so much for writing, and I do hope this helps a little.

Anyone else have any tips for squirmy submissive? Please comment if you do! :)

brat xx



  1. Yay for the first! (And if I might add, someone recently directed me here,, and it seems to have some great info.)

    And for the second, I have to remember to breathe and relax!?!?! Oh boy, I'm in

    1. Oo, thanks for the link, Misty! I passed it along, and am looking it over myself as well! :)

      And.. lol! Right!? Not easy, and really takes a lot of practicing for sure! lol xxoo

  2. I don't have any additional advice. I'm a notorious squirmer myself, but I do my best to breath and relax into it.

    Also welcome to the lifestyle "Longing!"


    1. Froggie babe ... Hugs! Notorious squirmer, lol. Well said.. it's hard for a lot of us not to be! :)

  3. Welcome to the lifestyle Longing, I'm so happy for you :)

    I don't have additional advice. I try to focus on my breathing. Definitely not always easy!


    1. Roz - longing sends her thanks! She is working on overcoming her bashfulness here in blogland. :)

      Definitely not always easy to focus on the breathing and relaxing for sure! :)


Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts/comments! I will always do my best to respond! xx