Communication: Asking for those harder things.
Our fears. Our wants... Our desires, needs, thoughts, feelings, limits and well yeah,everything else. That doesn't however, always make it easy.
It seems to be a common thing in many submissives to struggle in asking their Dominant for certain things. Like a spanking...yes, some of us do ask for those...(Or, at least we want to ask for them!) Sometimes for the release. Sometimes to help us get back in place...and sometimes, because it's well... hot.
Or, one for me would be this: Sir has me follow the rule of no touching the fun bits without permission. His, or mine. Often at night, He has me lay in His lap while we watch a movie or tv shows, and...well, before you know it my hand starts to get that mind of it's own issue going on, and sneaks up to grope. I mean, it's right there! And, I am hooked. I admit it! I often do not even think much of doing it before I hear..."Young lady!" This sadly happens at least once a night. You'd think I would have broke this habit by now! But when I sit and think about it, it's not that I am trying to be disobedient. It's more that this is one of those silly little things that I have a hard time asking for. In my brain, it falls into that area of dirty talk. Which, I am so bad at!
Sir is a pro at talking dirty. Smooth and,mm...yes. Me? Hah! I stutter, blush, and once things get going a lot of "Oh, please Sir." "Yes Sir." "Harder Sir." "Mmm, yes, oooo godddddds please fuck me Sir." "Mmmph,May I please cum, Sir?!" type statements come out.
Another friend posted something on the same topic the other day, I would link it, but I am short on time here. But, in a comment to her I mentioned the one thing that I have found that can help me with this. That is asking permission to ask for whatever it is I feel I may be needing or wanting. It is then up to Him, for He knows what is best and if I should get whatever that said thing is. This does help with a lot of things. Except maybe the above scenario, which, I just completely struggle with like the dirty talk.
It got me to thinking though, there must be some sort of way to get ourselves more comfortable with asking and communicating those needs/wants/desires and so on. So, of course you all know me - after thinking about this, I decided to throw out another input post. What do you think? How do you handle this sort of thing? Doms, what are your thoughts on this topic?