*What if your Owner wanted to open your relationship or become polyamorous*
This is kind of a 'moo' point for us. We are polyamorous. I have a beautiful and talented Domme, MisKnickers who lives in Australia, I don't get to see her that often. But when we do, it's always fabulous. And thank gods we're in the technology age! Our relationship is very unique and amazing. I am a very lucky sub. (See tattoos in sidebar that we got during her last visit)
As for triads, having a third and all that jazz. We've done it. Our last triad was great at first, but in the end, we all got very hurt. We learned a lot from it, though. We both truly enjoyed having a third. So many wonderful things can be had in a relationship like this. It takes very serious hard work to make them work, but I suppose that is true of any relationship. These can just be a bit more challenging. There has to be complete honesty on all sides. You have to expect feelings that are natural to come along - some jealously etc. We are all human, and cannot help having normal human feelings or reactions to certain things.In all honesty, it has taken me over a year to recover from the damage that came out of our last attempted triad. Not because of the kind of relationship that it was, but because so many things didn't get handled in a way that it should have. You have to be able to risk, and ask yourself if your main relationship is strong enough to handle the risks that can happen. It takes full communication and honesty on all sides to make it work. When one side doesn't fit, or work that way it will very well blow up in your face.
There are so many different dynanics in the poly world. There is no true right or wrong, it's what works for the people involved. They take work, but they can be so fulfilling and worth it.
As for this brat, I am very content with what I have. And feel very,very lucky to have what I do with both of my partners. Would I try to add more, or embrace a triad again? If the person was right, and everyone in my current relationships were completely ok with it - sure. But I'd do it differently this time. I wouldn't go as fast, I'd be very insistent that everyone was being completely honest and open.. and I would fight a bit harder to make sure it worked this time around. 
*BIIIIIIG HUGS for my favorite brat*
ReplyDeleteSo well thought out and written! And so many good points made. It takes so much work and when one party isn't as forthcoming with feelings/expectations/thoughts things start to crumble. Quickly. Then you're left standing there wondering where it started to go wrong.
I think losing someone that you thought was right, takes so much out of you. Heck, it's been three years for us and I still have my moments where I just get so... melancholy.
***Big big hugs back to my favorite Nightmare!! :)***
DeleteYes, you said it SO perfectly well. I had to really ponder how to word this post with still having some hard feelings that I deal with, with the whole experience. So many things that I truly miss about what a triad can give you. The togetherness of three in that way, the sharing - the great sex, lol! Think I should have mentioned intentions also, if everyone doesn't have the same wants and intentions - it blows up just as fast.
Definitely takes a lot of time to heal from, as with any failed relationship. There are set backs in that process as well.. I'm with you fully there. I still have those moments as well. And I do admit, I sometimes feel a little empty - after having a relationship like that, and see what it COULD be, it makes you long for it later sometimes.
Thank you for commenting with your thoughts - I love getting your comments! :)
That togetherness... yes. It's not that it's better than just two, but there is something completely... fulfilling? about that three person unit. I don't know how to describe that feeling right. Lol. Those "could-bes" are so hard to handle sometimes. :/
DeleteI get that longing. Still. But I distract myself until I don't think about it anymore. The Monster can always tell when I start to wish for it, because I recommend threeway porn. Haha. >_>
Lol you're very welcome for my rambly comments. Thanks for putting up with them. Lol xD
Yes! Exactly. Not better, but fulfilling in a different way. I can never really find the words to describe it either. I guess they call it the Unicorn Hunt for a reason,huh?
DeleteAnd same with us - lol. They always know - but then, they always seem to know everything.. still trying to figure out how they do that! x_x
Lol, I love the rambly comments. But then, I can be quite the comment whore! :o
I have a feeling you and I will be talking about this. He wants a third. He could care less who the third is. He knows I'm worried He'll want her over me. He makes a point of picking pointing out women He would never touch.
ReplyDeleteGranted, I have no limits, He knows this is a limit. We talk about it when I ask. In fact, we will be discussing it when He gets back from travels.
Two scenarios:
her eating me out while He face fucks me or just watches.
Me eating her out while He fucks me from behind. He knows me interacting with a girl, if it ever happens, would be purely to please Him. So, to feel me cum and moan from Him while doing that would be the ultimate submission.
I'm not even near ready to consider. In fact, I have nightmares about it. I'm scared of the after. In particular, will I hate Him? Will He really understand the emotional effect it may create?. Will He be there to truly catch me?What if I freak out? Will He hate me for screaming the safe word? And the list goes on. My nightmares have to do with all of this and it's creating some huge anxiety.
I will so, so, so happily help guide you through this, His slut. Believe me, everything you are feeling right now is *very* normal.
DeleteAs we just kind of hit topic wise in our emails (I am responding to yours in the other window), limits - while you and I have no limits in our relationship/dynamics, we still have needs, fears, wants, worries and etc. For U/us I don't , nor does He feel the need to have limits put in place, because He has known me since I was 14 years old. He knows me better than I know myself. That is not often the case for a lot of people, and doesn't always work well for some. Limits are can be very important.
I see a lot of confusion... confliction? here in your comment sweetie - and I so understand. The scenarios you wrote out could be a wonderful time, and yes , it can be the ultimate submission. What you need to sit and ask yourself is, is the anxiety you are feeling over this, causing your brain to say, heck no - hard limit, hard limit! Or, is this something that you feel in your gut and heart, that you, like you said here, just are nowhere near ready to consider it.
This giving you nightmares shows that it's often on your mind, and running around wild in your subconscious. Before doing anything, I always tell people - lots and lots and LOTS of talking with one another first - being full on open and honest about every thing, big or small that is in your head/heart and gut on this topic,before doing anything at all. The fears you listed are not only rational, but smart, and very normal. And for myself, if I get that strong feeling in my stomach, to where I almost feel... sick? Then I know I that something is very wrong in what we are doing. I follow that gut feeling before my brain, and it never fails me.
I am here to talk to you about this, in whichever way you go with it - here to answer any questions you may have, or just listen if you need. I hope everything I have said here makes sense, I didn't sleep well last night and on my first cup of coffee! lol
Big Hugs, xx
brat